Things You Can Say to Express Your Condolences to a Widower

It is never easy to know what to say to someone who has just lost someone close to them. This can be especially true if the person they lost was their spouse. The bond that spouses share is a strong one and when one passes away it can be devasting to the one left behind. As providers of funeral homes in Schaumburg, IL. we understand it can be difficult to know what to say when you want to share your condolences and that is why we have this list of what you should, and shouldn’t say.

Things You Should Say

First, let’s talk about some of the things you can say. Whether this is in person or a sentiment you write on a card or with sympathy flowers, these sayings will help express your condolences in a thoughtful way.

• “I’m so sorry for your loss” – Although you may feel this phrase is too common and therefore not a good thing to say, that is simply not the case. This phrase is a common statement for a reason. It is short, simple and to the point. It allows you to express your condolences without going overboard and saying more than you need to.
• “I can’t imagine what you are going through” – Everyone experiences grief differently. Even if you have lost a spouse it is a different experience than what they are going through. Letting them know you understand this can go a long way in helping them know that it’s okay to experience their grief in their own way.
• “We share in your loss”– This simple statement expresses your grief and helps your friend feel supported. With you sharing in this loss, it can bring them a sense of comfort in that they are not all alone in this grief.

Things You Should Try to Avoid Saying

While some of these statements may come from a good place in your heart, they simply do not provide the support or comfort that your friend needs at the time. Because of this, it is best to avoid saying things such as:

• “Everything happens for a reason.”– This can be a truly devasting statement to hear after someone losses a spouse. To say that everything happens for a reason means you believe their spouse had reason to pass away. Even if you did not intend for that to be the message, they will most likely hear that.
• “They are in a better place” – When someone losses a spouse, they oftentimes will not agree that their spouse is in a better place, as the better place would be here on earth with them.
• “You’ll feel better with time” – Although dealing with grief can get easier over time, saying this negates what they are feeling and going through now. This does not provide them with any support or comfort.

As providers of funeral homes in Schaumburg, IL. we know it can be challenging to find the right words to say. Don’t be afraid to talk and offer your condolences. Even if you do happen to say the wrong thing, your friend will know you are just trying to help and appreciate the sentiment.