What Can You Leave at Your Loved One’s Gravesite?

Your loved one’s gravesite is a special place. It is where they have been laid to rest and a place to visit when you want to feel close and connected to them. Many people will also leave items at the gravesite as a token of love. As directors of funeral homes in Streamwood, IL. we often get asked what items are allowed to be left as tributes.

Should you visit your loved ones grave?

Visiting a loved one’s grave can be a personal decision and varies depending on cultural and individual beliefs. For some people, visiting the grave can provide a sense of comfort and closure, while for others, it may be too emotionally difficult or not aligned with their beliefs about death and remembrance. Ultimately, the decision to visit a loved one’s grave should be based on what feels right for the individual.

While every cemetery has its own rules on what they do and do not allow, we are going to cover some of the most common items that are (and aren’t) permitted. Of course, you should always check with the specific cemetery to ensure you are following all of their rules.

Items That Are Generally Permitted

Listed below are some of the most common items that people tend to leave at gravesites and are typically permitted by most cemeteries.

• Flowers – Fresh flowers are a lovely token to leave at your loved one’s gravesite. Once the fresh flowers wilt they are typically removed from the gravesite by the cemetery’s groundskeeper. If you wish to leave silk flowers, they will stay until they begin to get weathered.
  

  What does it mean to leave flowers at a grave?

  Leaving flowers at a grave is a common way to pay respects and honor the memory of a loved one who has passed away. Flowers are often associated with beauty, love, and life, and are seen as a way to symbolize the continued presence of the person who has died. Different types and colors of flowers can also hold different meanings and convey different emotions, such as red roses symbolizing love and white lilies representing purity and innocence.

• Candles – Candles placed on graves represent for many Christians their belief in the resurrection and the promise of eternal life offered by the Christian God. This custom has been observed for many years and is still common in contemporary cemeteries all around the world.
• Grave blanket – It is said that the placing of the blanket is a gesture of love representing keeping their loved one warm. While grave blankets are not made from fabric but instead made by evergreen being woven together, they represent and carry this sentiment.
• Stones – Although the origin of gravestones is really not known, many people still leave small rocks, pebbles, or river rocks at gravesites as a token of love.

What does leaving a rock on a grave mean?

In some cultures and traditions, leaving a rock on a grave is a sign of respect and remembrance. It’s often done as a way to indicate that someone has visited the grave and to show that the person is not forgotten. It can also be a symbol of permanence and durability, as rocks are seen as enduring and long-lasting.

• Special Occasion / Holiday Décor – Special anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, etc. are common days for people to visit their loved one’s grave. Although most cemeteries already decorate for major holidays, many families may wish to add additional décor for the holiday or on a special day such as birthdays or anniversaries. Often times this may include banners, flags, balloons, battery-operated candles, and more. Because this type of décor can include so many different types of items, it is always best to check with the cemetery for its policies.

Items Generally Not Permitted

Although there are many items that are allowed to be left at gravesites, there are some items that people commonly try to leave but are generally not permitted. These items include:

• Stuffed Animals – Stuffed animals can be left at some sites. However, they normally do not stay there long. This is because wind, rain, dirt, and other natural elements wear them down and make them look tattered and worn quickly. Once this happens, the groundskeeper will typically take them and discard them.
• Fencing – Walking over a grave is traditionally believed to be unlucky, but some people also find it to be plainly impolite. Because of this, some people desire to secure a loved one’s tomb by building low walls around it. Most cemeteries forbid these low fences because they make it difficult for groundskeepers to execute their work and take care of the cemetery grounds.
• Flower Vases – Vases should not be left at a gravesite because they are not biodegradable and are often made from plastic or glass which can break and chip. These pieces can be blown around the cemetery grounds which makes the grounds more hazardous. When leaving flowers at a gravesite, simply tie the flowers with some twine and lay them on the grave.

Leaving items at your loved one’s gravesite is a lovely gesture of love and honor. Just make sure you are leaving items that are permitted so they can stay on the site for as long as possible. If you need further guidance you can talk with your director from the funeral homes in Streamwood, IL.